deviant art





Login
Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour Lost Password?
Deviant Login
Buy Art Buy deviantWEAR Buy adCast Buy Premium Upgrade
Shop
 Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
Download File
HTML download, 984 bytes
[x]

More from ~eveneden

Last Night "Eros, anikate makan..."

      Breath. Lose it, steal it, earn
these half-cries. Screaming flesh.
A kiss in the face. We commit love
acts in grey darkness so fuzzy there's
no seeing where you or I begin.

       Come. Listen to the wave's
heartbeat and become powerful
waters yourself. A sea in the night,
the forever night, a dark light on
on the blue floor of eternity.

       Again it swallows us,
whole, names and trembling
fingertips together; multiplies, fruitful,
in sweet tastes of delight between
the thighs of racing thoughts: our
       one word for love.
Long Distance Lovers at Prayer         Autumn-tide beats in my veins.
The slow-fading flush in your cheeks
speaks of bare elder branches writing
lost blossoms in apple-air, tangy and crisp.

The red rush of life swells deep, deep.

        Sorrow weaves rivers in me, drenching
skin, lips, feet. Echoes of blood. It becomes
hard to see your face, recall your hands.
The clock is not the incarnation of the hour.

What is it to slumber in one body and wake in a new?

        I cannot conceive of us carved out
of these wet and greedy selves. Fl
Revelation 5 Behind the mistranslations of your letters
I pursued your heart. It beat, it beat, it beat,
and I would have traveled far towards Bethlehem
but for my ragged breaths. Let me catch
yours, precursor to all poems: Ruah, Ruah, Elohim.
Do I slouch? Shoulders rounded out begin
to bear twin weights of wood and kin.
Your holy cities cry against the blood
and I look towards the east. Jerusalem. Jerusalem.

Featured in Groups:

group avatar #DD-Catalogue
The Home of Daily Deviations

Details

October 10, 2011
984 bytes
Link
Thumb

Statistics

Comments: 16
Favourites: 133 [who?]
Views: 2,734 (0 today)
Downloads: 185 (0 today)
[x]

Portrait ...

by ~eveneden

Portrait of the Poet as a Young Pizzeria Employee


I try to remember what I thought of,
doing dishes in the tourist trap, smack
dab in the heartland, zip code Going Nowhere.

Had I been a poet then, I might've seen
in stained plates and warm, sticky beer
glasses some bizarre metaphor for love.

No one wanted me in charge of ovens,
but sharp knives were fine. Lemon slices
stung nicked thumbs; skinned carrots made

me think of penises. His, of course, though
just the one, and blank-nervous moments,
clockwork only where passion should've been.

Perhaps it was some Freudian revenge:
knives and penis-carrots, shedding layers
of heart, soaking dignity in soapy cheese

and olive water. The first and only
therapy of the young, who think they know
what love is.
:iconeveneden:
EDITED 10/19/11. The changes aren't -huge-, I guess, but I think they affect the integrity of the poem.

Original note and draft:

Title modeled on "portrait of the artist as a young man," in case it's not obvious. I hate dA's short title limitation.

All stories are true, but not to every teller.

This mini-story came to me while reflecting on a Jane Hirshfield quote. When asked what she would've been if not a poet:

"I imagine I'd have ended up either a translator of classic Japanese poetry or a Zen priest, had poem-making not been there as the central magnet. Further afield, maybe a horse trainer? I've already been a cook in a vegetarian restaurant, a substitute teacher in the public schools of Fresno, a driver of a Ford double-trailered lumber-hauling truck, and an editor of non-fiction books--but such things are common enough for poets along the path."

~

original draft:


I try to remember what I thought of,
doing dishes in the tourist trap, smack
dab in the heartland, zip code Going Nowhere.

Had I been a poet then, I might've seen
in the stained plates and warm, sticky
beer glasses some bizarre metaphor for love.

No one wanted me in charge of ovens,
but sharp knives—can do. Lemon slices
stung nicked thumbs; skinned carrots made

me think of penises. His, of course,
and nervous, blank-mind moments,
clockwork duty where passion should've been.

Perhaps it was some freudian revenge;
knives and penis-carrots, shedding layers
of heart and soaking dignity in soapy, sanitized,

cheese and olive water. The first and only
therapy of the young, who think they know
what love is.
:icon:
Add a Comment:
 
Preview   Add Comment

Daily Deviation

Given 2012-02-23
Portrait of the Poet as a Young Pizzeria Employee is an honest moment of a poem by ~eveneden. ( Featured by ^lightningmonkey )
love 2 2 joy 1 1 wow 1 1 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:icondoodelay:
*Doodelay Mar 5, 2012  Student Writer
"His of course though, just the one."

HAHA i LOVE that line and the way its said lol

So dignified.

God I love this

--
When I read between the lines,
I read your heart and not your mind.
--
Life's an eclectic mix of both brown and gold bars.
Reply
:iconreygarfaust:
Mood: Love !ReygarFaust Feb 29, 2012  Professional Photographer
Beautiful work! I love you!

--
Please see my gallery [link] and add favorites.
My youTube channel - [link]
Reply
:iconcrematedman:
Mood: Love ~CrematedMan Feb 25, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Interesting restrospective, I liked it. Congrats on DD.
Reply
:iconamika-crystacia:
~Amika-Crystacia Feb 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I really liked this all the way through, but I absolutely adore the last sentance.
I'm sorry I haven't anything more constructive to say; it's 23:50 and I should really be sleeping.
Congratulations on the DD!

--
'Dance your final dance. This is your final chance to hold the one you love. You know you've waited long enough... Believe that magic works '

Give me a llama badge and I'll give you one back ^_^
Reply
:iconkossmoe:
=kossmoe Feb 23, 2012
This is a beautiful poem and definitely deserves the DD. It looks like something I could see english students dissecting in class. There are so many layers of meaning here, and I like the visceral feelings coming from the images.

--
Drake - The stupid, lazy host he works really hard at #Hiems-Mansion
Silae - an eccentric conductor of an interdimensional #WorldTrain
Reply
:iconlumzi23:
~lumzi23 Feb 23, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
"The first and only
therapy of the young, who think they know
what love is."

Brilliant. Beautiful.
Reply
:iconblood-red-ribbons:
~blood-red-ribbons Feb 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This is a beautiful and real piece of writing,
A lovely refreshing change,
Congrats on the well deserved DD :)

--
"The real problem with reality is the fact there's no background music..."

I could wander through a thousand dreams,
And never find any as sweet as these,
Reply
:iconliedy:
Mood: Wow! *Liedy Feb 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
clockwork only where passion should've been." - Amazing. To me, this poem this painfully human feeling, nailed down and vividly expressed. A totally deserved D.D.

--
:groups:#WeeklyLitContests - Weekly literature contests, points and prizes!
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
*xlntwtch Feb 23, 2012   Writer
:+fav:
Congratulations on the DD. This poem is one that makes readers pause, remember and smile, even if part of them sighs. Thank you.

--
"Advice to young writers who want to get ahead without annoying delays: don't write about Man, write about a man." -E.B. White.
Reply
:iconwolfxbutterfly:
~WolfxButterfly Feb 23, 2012  Student Writer
I love this. It's perfect. :heart:

--
Forgive me, for I have been kidnapped by rainbow ninjas and shall never be seen again. Oo
:katana: :ninjabattle: :ninjastar: :meditate: :ninjaeat:
Reply
:icon:
Add a Comment:
 
Preview   Add Comment
the pattern of my lovers

follows thus:

d   
             innocence

         e    c   
             goodwill
                     e    i   

             lus
            the pattern of by ~eveneden
Signature The straight angles of my name
align the page to themselves, all
sharp strokes and swift lines.

Your name bends. Your name curves
like rivers, moves like clouds, like
the endless circles on our fingers.

I scatter our names across the
page, trace our hands with my
impatient pen. The ink takes shape,

searching for one sure path, the
place where edges bend and
bends edge; where hands hold,

the single signature of love.Signature by ~eveneden
Portrait ... Portrait of the Poet as a Young Pizzeria Employee

I try to remember what I thought of,
doing dishes in the tourist trap, smack
dab in the heartland, zip code Going Nowhere.

Had I been a poet then, I might've seen
in stained plates and warm, sticky beer
glasses some bizarre metaphor for love.

No one wanted me in charge of ovens,
but sharp knives were fine. Lemon slices
stung nicked thumbs; skinned carrots made

me think of penises. His, of course, though
just the one, and blank-nervous moments,
clockwork only where passion should've been.

Perhaps it was some Freudian revenge:
knives and penis-carrots, shedding layers
of heartPortrait ... by ~eveneden
Three Dialogues An ancient vampire and his young creation encounter a priest with a crucifix.

the Daughter, the Bride:

What sick sweet joy have we dancing corpses
that does not delight my soul? What bitter stabs
of taste, slick tongues of your lies, what sounds
of lustful death, have I not craved and cried? You
are fever pitch, caught breath, biting death, enduring.
What have you killed that after I was not pleased to lose?
What have you cost that I would not harvest from my heart?
We've ransomed sons to soothe and stoke the rising tide of
death always in our ears and never beating--you, who put it
there, you who are and have been the thick Three Dialogues by ~eveneden
It's not me it's us After the lightening veins our skin
comes the reversal.

Sweat drying on our goodbyes.
Awkward espressos. The times
we thought of phoning, and didn't—
it's late, you're busy, she's pretty.

And May goes by so fast. I spoon
each day into my cereal like sugar.

More. More.

       May. The flowers. The name. The taste
of brittle iron beneath my thick wet tongue.
Is this love? It is love. It is love.It's not me it's us by ~eveneden
©2012 deviantART. All rights reserved
About Us | Contact Us | Developers | Careers | Site Tour | Help & FAQ Advertise | Premium Membership Etiquette | Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | Copyright Policy